Launching trulyyoursjasmine.com caused anxiety I wasn’t ready to face. I had no idea what I was getting myself into or what the response would be.

Since this was the first time publicly discussing my breakup, I was engulfed with emotions I suppressed for over a year.

I internalized my heartache, my confusion, my depression, my exhaustion.

Memories I was desperately trying to bury were now out for anyone to see.

Though the response was overwhelmingly positive, I was caught off-guard by the negative.

From being subbed by my ex all day on Instagram to arguing with his friends about my side of the story, the blog launch almost made me regret my decision.

Almost.

After spending the day reading encouraging comments from friends and strangers, I was pleasantly surprised from the unexpected message I received.

Him: Who you talmbout?
Me: this is about you.
Him: So, you left out that you were down to f**k for some jerk wings lol

A comedian.

Him: But seriously, I’m glad God put me in your path to help you get through everything you were going through.

And a charmer.

I spent the day in a whirlwind of emotions and reflected on why I chose to be vulnerable.

Dating in my thirties was truly too entertaining not to share.

But at what cost?

Luckily, I planned to head back to D.C. to celebrate a friend’s birthday and head to Howard University’s homecoming to get my mind off everything.

With the anxiety and stress launching truly yours caused, I accidentally bought flights to D.C. for the wrong date. Initially upset, I ended up heading to D.C. two weekends in a row.

With fond memories of my own HBCU homecoming, I was ready to be back in my favorite city and potentially run into some familiar faces.

I decided to launch my second blog post, pop champagne, the week of homecoming.

After publishing pop champagne and being coined ‘Ring Pop® Guy’, he sent me a picture of him already in D.C. with a Ring Pop® in his hand.

A troll.

After hysterically laughing, thoughts of all the good times we shared came to the forefront.

Singing Toni Braxton.

Drinking lots of red wine.

I hoped to see him again.

The weekend arrived, I flew into D.C., and was welcomed with Crown Royal™ shots and much needed laughs with old friends.

The air was brisk and perfect for the blazer I brought to wear on the yard.

On Saturday morning, we woke up to a curated playlist of our favorite songs from undergrad, a couple of shots, the smell of bacon sizzling on the stove, and biscuits baking in the oven.

We took an Uber to the city and searched for the music blaring from the beloved parking lot adjacent to the McDonald’s.

Standing in line to get in the tailgate wasn’t that bad since we came prepared with water bottles full of alcohol.

I chugged my bottle and started sweating. I was anxious to get inside and connect with my Norfolk State friends and possibly run into Ring Pop® Guy.

Once inside, I was immersed by sounds from the DJ, smoke from the grill, views of old classmates hugging, and screams of “HEY GIRL” from across the lot.

It felt familiar.

It felt like home.

We started walking and I was subconsciously looking for him in the sea of black excellence. The odds were slim, but the thought lingered throughout the day.

I was embraced by my Norfolk State friends and exchanged much needed smiles.

After hours of drinking and catching up, we did one last lap to say our goodbyes.

I looked out the corner of my eye and I saw him.

I was shook.

I walked over, tapped him on the shoulder, and he gave me the warmest smile.

He gave me one of those hugs that you only get at homecoming.

Him: Hey.
Me: Hey.
Him: How long will you be in town for?
Me: Until tomorrow.
Him: Ok, bet. I’ll hit you.

Enamored with the exchange, I walked off into the sunset to get on the Metro back to Maryland.

The next day, my friends and I headed to a house party in NE. I knew there was the possibility of running into him again, so I made sure I looked good two days in a row.

We walked into the house and I was welcomed by the biggest hug and the sweetest whisper in my ear.

It was him.

We hugged for a moment before he asked how I was doing and telling me how great it was to see me again.

His smile.

His laugh.

I missed him.

My friends and I went into the backyard and started dancing to Gucci Mane - Beat It Up Ft. Trey Songz.

Before I knew it, it was time to head to the airport and back to Atlanta.

I didn’t speak to him before leaving, but I knew that wouldn’t be the last time I saw him again.

After settling at home and having some time to unwind, I was at peace with my decision to launch my blog on my terms.

But with that peace, came subtweets and shots from someone who was enraged that they were the villain in my story.