You know, I never thought this would be my life at this very moment. If you were to ask me two years ago where my life would be at 31, it would be vastly different from where it is today.

At 29, I was in a seemingly happy relationship. I had baby names picked out for our would-be children; Quad, Josiah or Jordyn.

I was looking for jobs because I hadn’t found anything since I graduated with my master’s in December 2016. I was living at my parent’s house in Newport News, Virginia because he went to study abroad; and since I didn’t have a job, I left Atlanta. Closing in on month 13 of unemployment, I hated everything about my life.

Except my seemingly happy relationship.

He was my world, because my entire world had crashed. My bank account, my career, my self-worth and my self-esteem were empty.

I spent my entire late-twenties focused on him and how to make him the focal point of my life. I wanted whatever he wanted. His happiness brought me happiness. I saw my future in him; a husband, a baby and a cute little house. After being by his side through a major heart surgery, I didn’t think anything could break us.

Then he broke up with me.

Three weeks shy of my 30th birthday.

My life was over.

I had dreams of spending my thirties with him. Traveling the world with him. My whole life with him. I never saw anything in my future besides he and I.

The same day he called it quits, I was offered a position at a company I spent four months interviewing for. With the title and salary I’d prayed for. And the day before my birthday, I moved into my own apartment for the first time in three years - alone.

I miss that apartment.

Beautiful granite countertops with a huge kitchen island. My bedroom overlooked the pool that had fountains. It was calming.

I was extremely depressed. For months.

Cried myself to sleep. For nights on end.

My life had finally come together and my love life completely fell apart.

Single.

I was 30 and single.

What the f*ck.

Six months later, I met up with him one last time on some completely desperate sh*t. Begged him to be with me.

And this man said, “No.”

Proclaimed he had moved on and was happy. That he hated to be the cause of my pain, but knew if we got back together, he wouldn’t be true to himself.

So, what did I do?

Prayed for hoes.

GOD PLEASE SEND ME SOMEONE TO GET MY MIND OFF MY EX. LORD, PLEASE HELP ME. I AM READY TO MEET SOMEONE, I SWEAR.

Shortly after, I met this fine guy at my girl’s pool party. Smooth as hell. This man told me to put my Ring Pop® in his glass of champagne, so he could finish it, and take me home.

And I put my Ring Pop® in his champagne and went home with him.

Unbeknownst to him, he was the tipping point that changed my life as I knew it.

He helped me out of a depression only God knew.

We sung Toni Braxton; The Whispers; Earth, Wind, and Fire; and Pretty Ricky until we fell asleep. We laughed over stories from our undergrad years. We bonded by being from the same hometown. We binged watched Insecure and Power. We drank a lot of red wine.

I talked about my life and he listened. I was shy to open up and he was patient. I was vulnerable and he offered understanding. I was emotional and he paired it with logic.

He was charming and that smile of his was…

Before I knew it, it was my 31st birthday.

My one year job anniversary was about to come up. I was packing up my apartment that had seen the worst of me. I was celebrating with all my girlfriends who carried me along the way. I finally found a smile I hadn’t seen in two years.

And this is where my story begins.

Welcome to my life.

truly yours,

jasmine.